Making Friends And Keeping Them
Friends play an important role in our lives. They bring laughter, comfort, craziness, familiarity, intimacy and closeness in our lives. Our lives are more meaningful and full with good friends in it. The people we choose to spend our time with will make an impact on our lives greatly, so choose wisely! Not everyone knows how to make or keep good friends.
Here are some helpful tips to keep in mind that you can use in any relationship!
Choose a friend that complements your personality, not clashes with it!
If you are an outgoing girl that just loves to be around crowds of people, you will need to find friends that appreciate and love that quality about you. Someone that can't stand a large crowd, and doesn't like to be around lots of people, will not want to hang around someone that is so outgoing and social.
Listening To Friends
Be a good listener - everyone needs to be heard
When you provide that supportive ear, you will build and maintain a strong relationship with your friends. And next time you need to vent, your friend will be more likely to listen to you as well.
This is when you not only listen to your friends, but you attempt to feel what they are feeling and state this to them: "It sounds like such an overwhelming time for you right now. Especially with your new baby and mother-in-law moving in, there are lots of changes that you are getting use to." This will let your friend know that not only are you listening to her/him, but you are also understanding of what she/he is going through and how they may feel because of it.
Be Present And Supportive For Friends
Of course we've heard that before- it's important to stay alert and in the moment right? But did you also realize how attractive it is to others around you? When you are in constant "thoughts" with your mind drifting to endless destinations, it's difficult for you and others around you to truly enjoy the moment. When you are present, your unique and true personality comes out and you are more open to receive the goodness around you. You are more alive and able to invest and consequently more fun and interesting to be around.
Communicating With Friends
This is an important art that is required for all relationships and friends. During your friendship, things come up that need to be resolved. Feelings may get hurt, misunderstanding may arise, and other drama can surface during any point in your friendship. What will make the friendship last and remain strong is learning how to communicate the issues as they come up.
There are a few points to keep in mind when communicating:
Do not bring up the issue weeks and months after the fact. Chances are that both of you will probably not have a good understanding of what took place at that time. At the same token, do not bring up the issue when you are still angry from the event or issue, you may say or do things that you will later regret.
Communicate using "I" statements
"I felt sad when you publicly told everyone at the party about my lay off." By using such language, you avoid pointing the finger and blaming. You are simply stating how you felt, while taking full responsibility for your feelings. This allows for a much more effective and non-dramatic form of communication.
Allow time for the other person to explain their side
Just like you want to be heard and express your side of the story allow the other person to fully express themselves as well. This will help create a more peaceful flow of communication.